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Under the CutCollapse )


So, this afternoon we went to a Chinese restaurant and it was lovely. But I wound up kind of choking on some food. I say “kind of choking” because I could still breathe. I could feel myself wanting to freak out, but I forced my throat to remain relaxed and I kept breathing. I tried to kind of work the food back up, because it really hadn’t gone very far, but it wouldn’t move. I tried swallowing it the rest of the way, and that just made it worse. At this point, it was beginning to get difficult to breathe, so I tried to cough it up and wound up gagging it up instead. I’d already thought through what I was going to do if this failed (signal to Spouse, who was sitting right next to me, and if that failed, use the chair to give myself the Heimlich; I know how but I really don’t want to do that if I don’t have to because it hurts). Luckily, the cough/gag worked.

It was odd, because people expect me to not handle things well in an emergency, but so far, every emergency I’ve had, I’ve remained fairly calm and collected each time.


I've miscarried at around the three month mark for the second time in less than a year.

The doctor doesn't think it's anything that I'm doing that I shouldn't be, or should be doing that I'm not; neither does she think that this is likely to be a recurring problem for me. It's a thing that happens sometimes, and I've just had the bad luck to have a late miscarriage twice. That being said, she does have me on various vitamins and such, including folic acid, and our goal is to get me healthy before we try again (not that we were trying either time, it just happened, and we weren't not trying).

I'll be okay,things are justa little tough right now.

Home From Italy

It occurs to me that maybe I should have written more things from our trip/while we were there/our trip back, but, I didn’t. Oh well.

The trip downCollapse )

World at Her Fingertips

Title: World at Her Fingertips
Fandom: BTVS
Characters: Willow, Jenny Calendar
Rating: G/FRC
Word count: 1,365
Recipient/Prompt: aaronlisa, Magic vs. Technology: Technology
Three elements you’d like included: Season One or Two Setting, chat rooms, Willow figuring out what’s going on before the others
Two things you don’t want: Dawn, major character death
Range of ratings you’d like to read: any
Setting: Season 2, before “Surprise”.
Summary: Things can be a slippery slope, especially if you convince yourself you’re doing it for the greater good.

World at Her FingertipsCollapse )

I am really bad at actually posting any of the stories I put on Archive of Our Own over here, and I am very sorry about that.

So, months too late:
Original Story: Winning Isn’t Everything by n_e_star
Fandom: “the Cutting Edge”
Disclaimer: Not mine, I don’t own, please don't sue.

Love is Not a Victory March (The “Broken Hallejuah” RemixCollapse )

Humbled and Proud

I've had two stories nominated at the No Rest for the Wicked Awards, and I'm humbled, grateful, and proud of the stories, all at the same time. One of the stories nominated is "I Kissed a Girl (The Scientific Method Remix)", which I have to admit is one of my favourite remixes, especially since I wrote it in a matter of hours as a pinch hit for Aadler when his story was taking longer to write than expected. I had a lot of fun writing it and it seems to be fairly well received, which is always gratifying. I believe it was nominated (and I think came in second?) for Running With Scissors around a year ago.

The second story that was nominated was actually from the same remix, "Made to be Broken (The 'Scars of Your Love' Remix)". It was well received, as well, and I got good feedback from it, but I was never as satisfied with it as I was with "I Kissed a Girl". I can't even put my finger on why. I just felt like I should have done more and should have done better. So for it to be nominated, as well... Well. It makes me a happy Roni.

Whoever nominated my stories, thank you very much. I appreciate it tremendously. I write for the joy of writing, it's true, but I also love feedback (even if sometimes I'm crap at responding to it and I promise I'm trying to get better at it), and it seems to be much easier to produce stories when I feel like people are interested and care.

So thank you. Truly.

Tea for Two

Title: Tea for Two
Characters: Buffy, Giles
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 2,067
Summary: Buffy, Giles, and tea through the years.
Prompt: For velvetwhip, who wanted a teapot or teacup, confusion about tea, missing Los Angeles, something about Joyce’s art gallery.
Warnings: Various character death (mostly canonical).
Setting: Season 1, Season 5, Season 6, nine years post-“Chosen”.

Tea for TwoCollapse )


Most if the hives have gone away. It turns out that the main thing I'm allergic to right now is stress, and while I'm stressing, I'm allergic to EVERYTHING. Unfortunately, while I know what's causing the stress, there's nothing I can do about it. So I have hives all over one foot, and all over my lower left arm. The foot is doing a lot better, but the arm... The arm has been steadily gwtting worse. It looks like a severe burn, and I'm starting to worry that it's going to scar.

But, oh well, if it does. It is what it is.

(This was not my feelings last spring when my face sunburned and I scratched it in my sleep. I have a scar on my face now and I was freaking out because I'd been so careful with so many different things before the wedding and I was a sobbing mess because I was going to look like Frankenstein's creation.)

But. It is what it is.

I have so many ideas for stories. I definitely don't lack for ideas.


Imagine that you’re at Hogwarts for the first time, and the Hat goes on your head. “I’m so sorry,” it whispers to you, before saying loudly, “Slytherin!”

It’ s your first year. You’ve won the House Cup and you’re getting ready to celebrate.

And then Professor Dumbledore awards just enough points to take the win away from you, with no warning to the House that had won and now lost.

Can you imagine how that would feel? The older ones and Snape trying to convince you that Dumbledore doesn’t hate you? Them trying to convince you that the entire school doesn’t hate you simply because of the colours you wear, while the words taste like dust and lies in their mouths and sound like the lies they are to your ears?

You spend the next six years trying to rise above what everyone thinks you to be, you want to scream and shake the blood purists and the bullies and yell at them, “Stop being what they hate! Stop giving them a reason to hate us more!”, but experience has taught you they won’t listen.

You’re small for your age, you always have been, and in your third year, a pair of bullies beat you bloody for what happened to Hermione Granger and her teeth. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t, but you were there and you wear silver and green. Professor Snape finds you and takes you to the hospital wing where you have to stay overnight and he is so angry he’s white because the bullies got twenty points taken away each and that’s all. “What do you expect, Severus? They have witnesses saying that he attacked them first. Obviously they went too far, but they have the right to defend themselves.” You roll away from the words, unable to stomach them.

It’s not the first time you have to spend the night in the hospital wing.

Every Sorting, you whisper for every child, “Don’t be a Slytherin, don’t be a Slytherin.” You wouldn’t wish on anyone this hatred from people who don’t even know you and simply hate what you are.

You’re in your seventh year, almost free of this place that’s so magical to most but has become a hell for you and things get so. much. worse. You are expected to cast torture curses at your fellow classmates. You, who cried the first time you had to feed one of Hagrid’s creatures a live animal, have to torture people you’ve gone to school with. But the Carrows are scary and you don’t want to be on the receiving end, so you do it.

Every time you do it, it gets a little easier and you think that maybe, everyone was right about you. You are evil, you have to be, or you’d be able to stand up instead of hurt. Everyone that hated you, they were right, they were right, they were right, and you start breaking apart.

Imagine that you’re at Hogwarts for the first time, and the Hat goes on your head. “I’m so sorry,” it whispers to you, before saying loudly, “Slytherin!”