So, I'm currently learning Arabic and Mandarin, along with my twin. It's rather interesting and fun. I'm working on memorizing the alphabet, so, unfortunately, I'm writing it over and over and over again- and will be doing that for a week, until I know it solidly. And I'll be making up flashcards. Apparently, I'm doing fairly well- using my chart, I have better writing that my twin does, and she studied it for a year. But I'm also using my chart, writing individual letters, and she's actually writing words and phrases, from MEMORY. So she wins. In Mandarin, however, it's another story. I'm practicing my characters- and again, I'll probably be spending a few days on the eight characters that I learned, writing them over and over and over and over again, and making flashcards. But I'm mimicing the way to write it decently- well enough to be confused with a ten-year-old's handwriting. (I saw plenty of ten year old's handwriting while there.)

First phrase I learned how to say in Arabic: "Sorry. I don't know Arabic." "Asiif. La alem al Arabia." Spelling is probably WAY off. In return, I taught my twin to say, "Duay bu chi, wo bu dong." "Sorry. I don't understand/know."

Gotta love it.

I think I'm a mental masochistic. I'm learning TWO level five languages- and planning on working on Hebrew and Korean next.

*sighs happily* I love languages.

In other news, I see Squirreltail in 14,120 minutes.

Yes, I've done the math. Yes, I did the math in my head. It's rather simple.

So, I haven't worked a lot this week. About ten hours total. And that kinda sucks.

The sinus infection is slowly getting better.

Slowly.

I'm still waking up at 4 in the morning, coughing, hacking, and drooling.

And I've discovered that I am entirely too anal. I refuse to wear underwear that doesn't match my clothes. It's rather odd.

I get to see Squirreltail in twelve days. That makes me happy. Very very happy.

My twin, her husband and I are looking at getting a house in about a year. That'll be all kinds of fun.

And, oh, yeah, I decided not to do NaNoWriMo for the same reason as last year- I started stressing out. ANd then I started throwing up again. I decided stress is NOT A GOOD THING for this kitten.

So, apparently, the can't keep things down? Was due to a massive sinus infection that's turned into an ear infection. The crap draining down, exhaustion, and stress was causing the nausea.

I'm on meds, and I have a new doctor, who I totally love.

Steal dealing with not keeping food down.

Gee, this doens't sound familiar. >_<

I hate my body.

I think work is trying to kill me. They have me working some insane shifts- until midnight one day, and then in at eight am the next day.

And I'm making the Halloween costumes for my housemates and myself. Which was fine at the beginning of the month. But in our desire to be cheap, we got the wrong material- it needs to be stretchy, and Flu Girl didn't catch that until we were mostly done with the costumes.

So now, I have an insane work schedule this week, I need to go out, buy material, pick up the sewing machine that a friend is giving me, cut out the material, sew it together, and do this before SATURDAY. And manage to keep food down in the meantime.

And people wonder why I'm stressed.

Donated blood yesterday. Was really cool.

Unfortunately, wasn't smart enough to eat something. I ate dinner on Wednesday night. Gave blood from noon thirty until one thirty on Thursday. Ate breakfast this morning. Spent yesterday evening alternating between passing out and dry heaving.

Spent all bloody day today dry heaving- except for the times that it was not-so-dry heaving because I would attempt to eat.

I think I'm dehydrated.

And my diaphragm hurts.

Today kinda sucked. And I worked crazy insane shifts on Wednesday, Thursday and today: 1:30 until 11:30 on Wednesday, 8 am to Noon on Thursday, then gave blood. And today I worked from 11:30 am until 4. Now, yesterday's shift wasn't so bad, except for the eight o'clock in the bloody morning after not getting home from work until after midnight on Wednesday. Today's shift wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been for the dry heaving until six in the morning this morning, and then starting up again with the dry heaves as soon as I woke up this morning.

On the upshot, I discovered how to work the mute button on my phone, so when I was dealing with a customer and I started to dry heave, I hit the mute button, did so quietly, and then unmuted to talk.

I also spent my entire break in the bathroom, puking my guts out.

That was all kinds of wonderful FUN.

I've been doing artwork up a storm lately, and wanted to post some.

[URL=http://img94.imageshack.us/i/image0003p.jpg/][IMG]http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/4700/image0003p.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

This is my friend of mine. Her mom loves this picture.


[URL=http://img28.imageshack.us/i/image0006y.jpg/][IMG]http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/8517/image0006y.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]


This was an idea that actually translated well onto paper. I wanted to have the letters overlap, with "Love" as the foundation, "hope" as the support, and "Faith" as the covering. I then "stainglassed" the background. Explaining it to people before I started doing it? Didn't work so well. The finished project however... some of my friends wants me to put it on some t-shirts for them. :D


[URL=http://img197.imageshack.us/i/image0007p.jpg/][IMG]http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/3537/image0007p.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Just a dancer.


[URL=http://img243.imageshack.us/i/image0008n.jpg/][IMG]http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/1831/image0008n.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

It's me! Before I cut my hair, anyway.


[URL=http://img527.imageshack.us/i/image0009x.jpg/][IMG]http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/6152/image0009x.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]


My "twin". I drew this, showed it to my mom, who knew immediately who it was, in spite of not seeing her for a few years.

Totally made my day.


[URL=http://img162.imageshack.us/i/image0010p.jpg/][IMG]http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/6804/image0010p.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]


Boredom leads to fun with angles.

On a side note, I LOVE her hair.



[URL=http://img27.imageshack.us/i/image0011te.jpg/][IMG]http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/1572/image0011te.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Cattiebrie, after burying Zeke. I tried watercolors for the first time since kindergarten ish, and then did Cattiebrie and the grave in colored pencils. Added some layers using colored pencils and a graphite pencil as well.

I think I'm happy with the way it turned out.

Sorry it's been so long. I've been keeping up, honest. Just been a matter of taking the time to post them.

Drabble 7
Home

Seph spun around the room. “Charlie, we can clean the walls and then paint them a bright color. Really, all this place needs is a good cleaning and a fresh coat of paint.” She saw Charlie watching her, and without thinking, she launched herself across the room, knowing without conscious thought that he’d catch her.

He did. “Whoa, there little gal.” His breath tickled her ear as his arms were wrapped tight around her.

She relaxed against him, feeling safe for the first time in- well, forever.

Her feet hit the ground with a solid thunk. “I need to sit down.”



Drabble 8
Panic

Charlie helped his new apartment-mate to the couch when she virtually collapsed in his arms. She’d been pale before (granted, he wasn’t the best judge of “pale” for white girls”, but he’d discovered there was a difference between “pale” and “virtually devoid of all color”.

He hovered anxiously. “What’s wrong? Do you need anything to drin? Food? What?”

Madrigal shook her head, her head between her knees. ‘No, I’m fine. Just-“ Her breath came out in harsh wheezing.

Charlie got her water anyway. “You’re just having a panic attack.” He pressed the glass into her hand. “Be a good girl and drink up.”


Drabble 9
Shattered
Seph desperately tried to remember how to breathe. Once she’d gotten it back under control, she took a sip of the water. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

He gave her a look. “You’re still going to drink that whole glass of water, and you’re going to eat whatever I cook for you. There will be no eating disorders in this apartment.” He brushed hair out of her face.

Seph leaned into his touch. Unbidden tears swam in her eyes. “Why are you so nice to me?”

Charlie’s eyes were full of confusion, compassion, and kindness. “Because you deserve it.”

Seph shattered.


Drabble 10
Comfort

Charlie rocked Madrigal back and forth, holding her, stroking long red hair, just letting her cry and didn’t say anything. He didn’t pay attention to his shirt that was getting wet, and just focused on his friend. She was curled up in a ball in his lap, sobbing as if her heart was breaking.

Perhaps it was.

He had no way of knowing.

There was something about her that made him want to take care of her. Her eyes held bruises. He wanted to hurt whoever put them there.

There was something about her he identified with.

Difference recognized difference.


Drabble 11
Tears

Seph cried until the torrent of tears was over and there were no more tears left. Then she cried some more, only without the tears.

Finally she was done.

She stayed where she was.

Charlie’s mind was wide open to her. More open than anyone else had ever been.

Simultaneously, his mind was more guarded than anyone else’s had been.

She didn’t understand him, and at the same time, she understood him all too well.

She opened her eyes and looked at her new, self appointed protector.

She could, and had, to trust him.

“How do you feel about mutants?”


Drabble 12
Promise

Charlie searched Madrigal’s eyes. They were vulnerable- but also held the flash of fiery wariness that told him she was readying her guard, gathering herself together. Preparing for him to hurt her.

Oh, yes, he wanted to hurt whomever had had previously wounded her.

One asshole makes it that much harder for a guy to convince a girl that she’s safe with him and he won’t hurt her like the other guy did, whether he was romantically interested in her or not.

He ran a finger along her hairline and jaw and made her a promise. “I will never hurt you.”


Drabble 13
Acceptance

Seph held her breath in anticipation of his response, ready to jump up and flee if she needed.

“I will never hurt you.”

That didn’t answer her question. Her forehead crinkled as she wavered in indecision.

Stay or run?

Stay? Or run?

Stay-

He repeated it, golden eyes gripping blue ones and holding them in place. “I will never hurt you.”

It did answer her question.

He didn’t care. He saw her as her, not as the brainiac girl who got straight A’s, not as the girl that had grown up as the ugly duckling.

Just her.

“I trust you.”


Drabble 14
Impact

Charlie searched her eyes, needing to find answers.

He found them.

Her walls were down with him.

He hugged her tight, vowing to himself that nothing bad would touch her, nothing would harm her, as long as he was around. It hit him with the impact of a sledgehammer- he would willingly die to keep the woman in his arms safe.

In the first fifteen seconds of knowing her, she had become his sister of his heart. “Madrigal? Why did you have the panic attack?”

She snuggled her cheek against his chest. “I felt safe with you. It scared me.”


Drabble 15
Intuition

Seph fell asleep in Charlie’s lap, testament that she really did trust him, she really did feel safe with him, and she really was utterly exhausted. She’d arrived in New York and had wound up staying in Times Square, bouncing from place to place. Yay for McDonald’s being open 24 hours. She’d changed clothes in the bathrooms of whatever store she was in, giving herself quick sponge baths, brushing her teeth, etc. As a result, she hadn’t really slept in three days.

She didn’t think Charlie was a mutant.

But he was very intuitive, and listened to what intuition said.


Drabble 16
Satan

Charlie’s leg went to sleep under Madrigal’s weight, but he wouldn’t have moved for anything.

Instead, he simply settled himself in and got comfortable, prepare and willing to stay there until she woke up, content to stay there until the following morning if necessary.

Charlie fell asleep breathing in Madrigal’s scent.

He awoke to empty arms and the smell of something cooking.

He shuffled his way into the kitchen, bleary-eyed. “I’ll sell you my soul if you’ve made coffee.”

Her laugh twinkled as she handed him a steaming mug.

He took a sip and grinned. ‘Does this make you Satan?”


Drabble 17
Mistress

Seph took the joke for what it was, but she kept a straight face. “I prefer to be called ‘Mistress of Evil’, but I suppose ‘Satan’ works.” She turned back to the stove, and finished cooking the eggs. “You’re a typical bachelor, and your fridge is just about empty. I made up a list of some staples for us to have. You know, PB and J, some bread, ramen, veggies and fresh fruit. If you pick up some canned tomato products, and some meat and canned veggies and potatoes, I can make us some stew. Long as you’re not vegetarian.”


Drabble 18
Chores

Madrigal turned back, shaking the spatula at him. “And you’re not going to be skipping any meals, either, Mister. Not only was your fridge basically empty, but your trash is also devoid of food wrappings. Which means that you’ve either been eating out, or not eating. If I have to eat, you have to eat. Capisce?”

Charlie grinned. “Got it. I don’t want to sound chauvinistic, but I’d be willing to do the handyman type things, if you want to cook. I’ll help clean, we can keep those chores as fifty fifty. But I can’t cook to safe my life.”


Drabble 19
Proposal

Seph shrugged. “You might want to wait until after you eat the eggs before deciding if you want me to cook. But I’m willing if you are.”

The eggs got scooped onto two plates, and the two friends dug in.

Charlie ate a bite and that was enough. “Marry me. Marry me now.”

Seph giggled. “Sorry. I’m happy being single.” She left unspoken that to date she’d have to make herself vulnerable with a guy- something she wasn’t willing to do with anyone but Charlie. And Charlie, as nice as he was, had firmly been placed in the brother category.



There you go.

Xander was walking home in a dark mood.

Yeah, okay, walking home in Sunnydale at night, not the smartest thing in the world.

Doing so alone, and without Buffy around, especially smart.

Part of him was hoping for a vampire to decide to make a snack out of him.

He'd been the butt of a cruel joke. Buffy had used him to hurt Angel, and didn't care that it would hurt him in the process.

He'd never do that to a girl.

If a girl ever liked him, he'd do everything he could to make her happy. Even if he didn't like her back, he'd let her down gently, and not use her in an act of cruelty.

He'd never do that to a girl.

Never, ever.

He stopped in his tracks.

Oh, crap.

He had done that.

Not for the sake of cruelty.

But that's what he'd done to Willow earlier that night. He'd led her on, because she was looking at him with those Willow eyes, and she was his Willow, and he'd almost kissed her because she'd licked her Willow lips with her Willow tongue, and gotten ice cream on her cute adorable Willow nose, and he'd leaned in and almost kissed her-

But then Buffy had shown up, and he'd dropped Willow like a hot potato.

He needed to apologize. But this wasn't just any apology. This needed an epic apology. This needed an apology worthy of Willow.

He swung by the supermarket on the way to Willow's house.
***

He tossed a rock at Willow's window.

No answer.

Xander sighed, and climbed through Willow's window.

He was very glad that his Willow lived on the ground floor, instead of the second story like Buffy.

No thinking about Buffy tonight. Tonight was for Willow.

Willow was asleep, looking all cute with her hair pulled back in a headband, and her nose crinkled up.

He shook her awake, and loved watching the recognition appear in her eyes as her brain came to fuzzy alertness. "Xander? What are you doing here?" He watched her as she put herself through her mental tests to see if she was dreaming, then sat up, convinced she was awake.

"Had to come over, Wills. Had something I needed to tell you. And it had to be tonight, because tonight was when I realized it." Xander shifted around nervously, quite possibly the first time he'd ever been nervous with Willow. "Wills, I know you like me. As more than a Xander friend, I mean." She blushed bright red, and opened her mouth to say something. "And I know that I'm slow and clueless, and that I don't deserve you, because you're the awesomest Willow there ever was." He risked looking at her, and saw that she was just staring at him with wide eyes. "And I'm sorry for hurting you like I know you have. But you're my Willow, and you'll always be my Willow. And I love you, Wills. I don't know if I love you like you love me." Her face fell. "But I'm willing to find out, if you're willing to let me."

Willow meeped.

And then his Willow was kissing him.

Guess he had his answer.

He pulled away. "First, we gotta seal it, Wills." He reached into the shopping bag and pulled out a twinkie. "We have to swear on the holy twinkie that we'll always be best friends, no matter what happens."

END

Firefly fanfic. Four drabbles and a ficlet.

First Kisses

Zoe watched Wash out of the corner of her eye.

He liked her. She could tell.

A man just don’t look at a woman the way he looked at her iffen he don’t like what he sees.

He was either shy or he respected her too much to act on his inclinations.

He didn’t ‘zactly strike her as the shy type.

Which left him respectin’ her.

That suited her just fine, because she had to admit, she respected him right back.

She slid into his lap and kissed him, long and hard.

Zoe had never been accused of being subtle.
* * *

Mal could be gentlemanly when it suited him. Right then it suited him just fine to be all gentlemanly and help Inara to her shuttle when she was tipsified.

He never seen her lose control like that afore, and his admiration for her went up a few notches cause of it.

Despite the fact that she wasn’t walking straight, she still handled herself with class, her head high.

She mumbled about a kiss.

Well, gentlemen obliged their ladies, didn’t they?

He walked back to his bunk whistling cheerfully.

Her eyes next day told him she didn’t remember none of it.
* * *

Kaylee was so close Simon could smell the strawberries on her skin.

The strawberries he’d given her.

She looked up at him, her eyes that defied definition of exact color shifting from blue to green to gray and back again.

She was thanking him for the strawberries, even though he’d never told her they were from him.

She stood up on tiptoe, to kiss him on the cheek. It took a small movement to turn his head just enough that instead of his cheek, her lips landed on his.

A small movement, but not a small action.

Simon tasted strawberries.
* * *

Book was surprised to get a cake. The cake itself wasn’t the surprise.

How they knew his birthday was the surprise.

River gave him a knowing look, and he knew that it had been her.

He looked around the table, and the happy smiles of everyone on the ship, even Jayne, made his own mouth fall into a smile.

He wondered why he was there. He didn’t see him doing them good.

Then they’d do something, and he’d think maybe he wasn’t there for them. That he needed them.

Kaylee stuck a candle in the cake, and kissed his cheek.
* * *

River started seeking him out once her brother started playing around with little Kaylee.

After the first few times of trying to get rid of her, he finally gave up.

‘Sides, she took good care of his guns. Respected them almost as much as he did.

Her favorite was Vera.

He liked her better for it.

The first few times she picked up one of his guns and started cleaning them, he got all nervous and twitchy. After all, the times she’d gone violent, it had been on his ass. First with the cutting him, then with the knocking him out.

He wasn’t sure if he’d yet forgiven her for that one.

She picked up a gun, stripped it, and cleaned it to a shine that he couldn’t duplicate.

He didn’t think he’d forgive her of that, either.

She’d been different since she’d started keeping him company. Saner, somehow.

She caught his eye with her own, and he found himself snared. He tried damn hard to make sure she never looked directly in his eyes, because it always felt like she was trying to suck him in, trying to lay claim.

He belonged to no man but hisself.

She cocked her head to the side, still staring him down, seeing things he didn’t want anyone seeing. “He’s afraid that he won’t be himself if he gives himself away.”

Jayne felt the flare of his temper, but held onto the edges of it. “Don’t go poking ‘round in my head none, Darlin’. You mayhaps won’t like what you see.”

River moved with the dancer’s grace that didn’t make a sound, not letting his eyes go. “She won’t hurt you. You don’t hurt her. You help her. She won’t bite the hand that feeds her.”

Hadn’t he just been thinking she was saner?

There’s irony for you.

He picked up another of his guns and started cleaning it to take his mind off the girl.

‘Parently she didn’t need to look into eyes to know his thoughts. “I’m not a girl.”

He looked her up and down, intentionally trying to offend. “’Pears as though you got girl parts to me.”

Girl wasn’t her brother. She either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “I’m female. But I’m not a girl. Stopped being a girl long ago.” She walked to him, not giving him extra space.

His only option was stay where he was or run.

He’d be damned if he’d run from her.

He stayed.

When her mouth met his, he knew he was a dead man.

Mal finds out, he’s gone. And that’s nothing if the Doc found out.

Then her mouth was against his again, and he stopped worrying.

Mayhap he’d forgive her after all.

And the possibility of death didn’t seem to matter so much.

After all, as everyone on board Serenity knew, he did like his weapons.

And River was a damn good weapon.

END

Dealing with the worst cramps I've EVER had- and I've had some doozies. These are bad enough that I've been spending a lot of time getting aquainted with the toilet.

This started on Wednesday, complete with me whimpering, curled into a fetal position, wrapped around a heating pad, going, "OW! Why, God, why?"

Thursday I was able to go into work.

Friday was worse than Wednesday.

And then I woke up today at about four in the morning, and have been puking my guts out.

This is my second absence in one week. But the first one was last Sunday, when I was running the wicked high fever. This is the second one, when I keep, oh yeah, throwing up. Something tells me they don't WANT me going in right now.

This really sucks.